I'll Be Home For Christmas
by Raederle
Summary: It's Christmas, and there's a party on the Christa! But for some reason, sadness pervades the crew. Where can they find happiness, when all their friends and family are so far away?


I'll Be Home For Christmas

The young crew of the Christa simply couldn't believe their eyes, and stood in the doorway to the Teamroom in complete befuddlement. 

"It's impossible." Catalina concluded. 

"It's weird." Bova muttered. 

"It's Christmas!!" Commander Goddard exclaimed, grinning madly at the confused children. The Teamroom was all decked out in garland and light. Soft, cheerful music filled the room and there was a decorated evergreen in the corner. Thelma was still busy stringing popcorn with the Gizbot, and the Commander was finishing up the garland along the walls. 

"What's Christmas?" Rosie smiled as Bova took a handful of Thelma's popcorn and began to munch. 

"An Earther holiday." Harlan explained. 

"My personal favorite." Goddard smiled as the kids caution entered the room. They weren't accustomed to seeing him so relaxed, and in civilian clothing. 

"Why's that?" Radu ventured. 

"Hm. I never really gave it much thought before." He sat down near the children and offered them a plate of cookies. "I suppose it's because it was always the only holiday where I got to be with my family and not my relatives." 

"Um, non sequiter, Commander." Catalina laughed. "Relatives _are_ family." 

"Immediate family, not the throngs of crazy Goddard kin that always show up to the reunions, ready and waiting with some snide quip about our branch of the family tree." 

Harlan groaned. "Tell me about it. Cody relatives are evil incarnate." 

"I'll just... not comment on that if you don't mind, Mr. Band." 

"I appreciate your restraint, Commander." Harlan grinned, slapping palms with him. 

"So... what's with the tree and... all the glitter?" Radu cocked his head at the odd spectacle that was now the Teamroom. 

"The tree goes way back to Earther Celtic roots, where it stood for fertility and everlasting life. You know, how all tree lose their leaves except evergreens?" Goddard explained. "It mingled with our holiday when the big bad Roman Catholic Church took over. The glitter and decorations... mostly come from the commercialization of the holiday during the 20th century." 

"I like the candy." Bova noted. "You Earthers certainly know how to make a holiday." 

"Well... I should say." Miss Davenport walked in smiling. "I can't believe you did this all by yourself." 

"I didn't." Goddard shrugged good-naturedly. "Thelma helped with the decorations. And Rosie did most of the baking." 

"This is just like Christmas in the office." Davenport noted, taking a cookie. Like the office in that it's all in one room and hardly anyone understands what's going on. She sniffed it daintily and took a bite. "Good job, Rosie." 

"Yeah, Rosie and the ship's cook have done it again." Harlan jibed. 

"Funny. I suppose this party will have to be your Christmas gift, since I have no way of getting anything for you. Just as well, since I'm a wrapping retard." Goddard replied. 

"Big hands. That's why he can't wrap." Cat whispered to Rosie and Suzee. Rosie smiled and nodded. 

"You're reminded of the office when you see a Christmas tree? It think of growing up with my brothers in Montreal. Of keeping them up all night with stories of Father Whipper coming to get them. Especially my older brother Rob." 

"I prefer to think of the office actually. If not that, it would be my _mother_ and _sister_. Or the first Christmas without that idiot fiancé of mine." She shook her head. "For me, those dreary office parties are an improvement." 

"Bah humbug." Bova muttered. Cat smacked him lightly. 

"Not now." 

"You're telling me that your mother couldn't lay off you for one day?" Goddard chided. "Even I never got spanked on Christmas, and I was completely rotten." 

"She _never_ laid off me." 

"No good Christmas memories?" Rosie pouted. When Goddard had mentioned the party she'd be baking for, she had guessed it should be fun, even though he hadn't divulged the details. Most Earther holidays were a big party. 

"A few. When my father was still alive. He never let CJ and me fight. And _he_ would never fight with my mother on Christmas. It was... peaceful... when he was with us." 

"If just for one day..." Goddard whispered. 

"No screaming, no criticism." 

"We didn't have a whole lot, but having each other was enough." 

"I remember... my dad, my _real_ dad," Harlan said gently. "Was almost always home for Christmas. If he couldn't make it, he'd get on the Comm and talk with me and mom all day. So we could all be together." 

"Sounds like a great holiday." Rosie beamed. She placed a wreath of garland on Bova's head. 

"Hey!" He protested. "It's all sunshine, isn't it? Y'know, you guys are all talking about it like it was only great when you were kids." 

"It's true." Catalina muttered. She jumped as everyone's eyes focused on her. "Holidays sucked as I got older. Festivals, ceremonies, they were fun as a kid, but after my parents died... my aunt never made anything fun. Everything is just going through the motions with her. No fun. Just putting up with the holidays and dealing with the commercialization. We weren't even allowed to talk when relatives were over. She was afraid we'd embarrass her." 

"Ah, Cat..." Rosie began to give her a heated back massage. "I know your aunt cares. She just doesn't know how to treat kids." 

"Thanks Rosie. Thanks Suzee." She giggled. "At least Suzee is fun around the holidays. They don't have a drinking age in her dimension... No, I won't tell them about that!" 

Rosie couldn't help it. She giggled at the thought. 

"A drunk engineering genius." Harlan laughed. "When do we get to see you do that?" 

"Not for a long time, Harlan." Catalina rolled her eyes at him. 

"You guys are still kids. This is virgin eggnog here." Goddard joked. 

"W-we do have seven years here." Radu pointed out. "Maybe you and Miss Davenport can find a new way to be happy at the holidays." 

"Yeah, and besides, your aunt and her mom are old. They'll probably be dead by the time we get back." Bova shut his mouth quickly, realizing the impact of what he'd just said. 

"Good." Catalina broke the silence harshly. Miss Davenport laughed uneasily. 

"Well said, Catalina, but you may change your mind one day." 

"Whatever." 

"Oh, man. I can't believe my mom could die before I get a chance to tell her I love her." Harlan said in shock. This hadn't occurred to him when they'd first begun their voyage. "I might not ever get to give her another Christmas Hug." 

Catalina could feel Rosie's heat rising and put her arm around the girl. The Commander put his face in his hands. 

"Yep, yep. I certainly should have made more of an attempt to see my parents these past few years." 

The implication was grim. The Commander was forty-five himself. It would only be a matter of time before he lost all of his loved ones. For that matter, anything could happen. Any one of them could come home to an empty house. 

Silence filled the room. 

"I... didn't set this little party up to depress you guys." Goddard admitted gruffly, looking up at them. 

"I didn't mean it." Bova's voice was choked and quite insistent. Radu rubbed his back gently. 

"We know you were just trying to make Cat feel better. It was a joke." _He's scared for his family, too. I wonder what that's like? I only have these guys to worry about._

"We... can't be home for Christmas." Rosie said almost in a whimper. "Or any other holiday, for a long, long time... We can't be with our families, but..." 

A hot tear fell from her face. 

"We can be with each other." Wide, pleading eyes looked over the downtrodden crew. 

"That is true, Rosie." Thelma said suddenly. "We do have each other." 

"Let's... not think about this right now. We have plenty of time to fret later." Davenport suggested. Goddard nodded energetically. 

"We still have to tell Christmas stories, drink coco, sing songs, play games and leave cookies for Santa!" 

"Capitol idea, Commander." 

***

Later that evening, past the children's usual curfew, Radu flopped down onto his bunk. They had tried to break the melancholy of remembrance, brought on by their respective pasts and the unforeseen future. The thought that they may no longer have the chance to spend time with their loved ones... 

_It means so much to them._ Radu thought. _ And I just don't understand it at all._

Radu tried his best not to say anything out loud. He could hear the restless crew around the ship. Miss Davenport was tossing and turning, as were the other guys in the room. Goddard was awake in his quarters, bouncing a ball against the wall over and over. Catalina and Rosie were crying softly in their room. 

_I thought the holidays were supposed to be make you feel better._ He thought. _Maybe I can help. We're on the same time clock as they are in the Sol system. I bet they are sleeping by now, too._

Radu forced himself to drift off into sleep, in search of the person who could give him the answer. 

***

Seth was dreaming. He had to be, because he was in his mother's house. 

"You couldn't resist could you?" Seth remarked at the over-decorated house. "You're as bad as me." 

"Tell me about it, Seth." 

He turned around to see his older brother standing there with crossed arms. 

"Rob?" Seth ran to his brother for a strong embrace. 

"You thought it wasn't enough we lost Alex to that damn war? You had to disappear into thin air? You have any idea what that did to Mom?" 

"I didn't have much choice, Rob. Besides, you know you missed me." 

"We all missed you." Rob frowned. "We didn't have to wait for you to disappear for us to miss you." 

"About that Rob. I'm sorry." 

"Sorry? You've got to be kidding me." 

"I... I just..." 

"You wanted to spare us?" His mother's voice rang from the stairway. She smiled warmly. 

"Mom-" 

"Seth," She sighed heavily and hugged him. "I'm proud of you, you should know. No matter what people say. You're my boy, and you don't play silly games with right and wrong. That will never be a fault in my eyes." 

"It doesn't matter to us what they say at the reunions. We're used to it." Rob put in. 

"I should know better than to think you'd care about that." Seth smiled. 

***

Catalina smiled widely. Here she was, sitting with her brother and sister in her room. With Suzee no less. Chatting away. She was in heaven. 

"Still think he's a loser, Cat, but I understand you don't have many guys to ogle at over there." Her sister Ariel grinned. Nered sighed. 

"I'm so glad I could finally talk to you again. I felt like we were being forced apart when I was in the Star Academy." Catalina admitted. 

"You guys are much better to talk to face to face." Suzee smirked at them. 

"I can't believe I'm having a conversation with Cat's imaginary friend." Nered replied. 

"Forget about that. I want to savor every moment I get to be with you guys." 

***

"Mom." 

Harlan's mother Celia turned around. She'd been looking over her photo album, like she did every Christmas. And gotten stuck on one particular page, like she did every Christmas. Harlan and Ellison playing in the snow. 

"Harlan? Darling?" 

"Mom, I love you. And I'm sorry. It was my own thoughtless actions that make it impossible for me to be home with you where I belong." 

"I forgive you. Now do I get my Christmas Hug?" 

"Of course!" 

"Besides, darling. You're just like your father. You made it back home. If only in your dreams." 

***

"Harlan, I _never_ dream. But it was so real!" Catalina said ecstatically. "I got to see my brother and sister!" 

"Yeah, I dreamed about my mom last night. It was great." 

Bova looked over at them from across the ComPost. 

"I talked to Rosie earlier. We both dreamed about our parents, too!" 

"That's... starting to sound a little weird." Catalina creased her brow. "I mean, what are the odds? I wonder if the Commander and Miss Davenport had dreams like this, too." 

"They'll be here in a minute." Harlan said. The jumptubes activated and Radu and Rosie slid in. 

"Merry Christmas guys!" Rosie was practically singing. Miss Davenport walked in talking with the Commander. 

"You'll never guess what I dreamed last night." Goddard told her. 

"I can. You guys both dreamed you spent Christmas with your families right?" Harlan grinned at the look of surprise on their faces. "We all did." 

"Must have been all that talk about families last night." Miss Davenport said shaking her head. 

"Now that's lucid dreaming." Goddard muttered, trying to figure whether or not he should be alarmed. 

"Hey, Radu. What did you dream last night?" Rosie asked suddenly. Radu's ears turned a bit red. 

"I- I- Well, different stuff." He caught the vibe of sympathy building from them. He didn't want them feeling badly on his account. He didn't really want them to guess what he'd done either, though he wouldn't outright lie. "I- I saw Elmira for awhile." 

Rosie glowed. 

"And I saw you guys for awhile, too." 

Commander Goddard smiled boyishly. "I really do love Christmas, you know. We did all that for the party, but still..." 

He paused a bit to laugh. "I have no complaints, though. I mean, what could be better than getting to be home for Christmas?" 

_**NOTES:**   
One: There are two parts to the French Santa Claus. Father Christmas and Father Whipper. One gives you gifts and the other beats the bad children with a switch. That is what Goddard was teasing his brothers about.   
Two: Couldn't find the real names for Catalina's siblings. So I made 'em up. Feel free to email me with the right ones if you have them. The sister's name is donated by Archangel Ariel._


End file.
